I have a juicy medical story to tell that I can actually post here, on the wonderous internet, whilst maintaining my professionally integrity and ethics in medical confidentiality. You see, this particular story does not involve something that happened to somebody else at my work. It happened to me, outside of my job at Fremantle Hospital.

Because my complaint was fairly *sensitive* and *awkward*, I decided to take myself to RPH because I figured the doctors there wouldn’t actually know me personally from Fremantle. Nevertheless, I showed my WA Medical Administrator ID Card to the triage nurse and she whisked me straight through to a comfy bed in the emergency department.

You don’t really need to know the whole story of what happened next, except that I had some student doctors touch me in very strange places, I had an elephant-sized syringe of yellow gel prodded into my butt and I had to pee into about 6 separate cups for pathology. Two consultant physicians saw me (that’s pretty damn good for a public patient in an emergency room) and I ended up being sent home half-cut on a blend of generically-branded painkillers.

This morning I had four different drugs to take (one of them is literally larger than a 20c piece), a medical certificate for two days off work and a massively tender bruise on my buttocks that makes sitting on the couch watching TV surprisingly uncomfortable. Overall, the experience was very interesting, and, although unpleasant, I really aren’t going to complain about being given drugs and time off work.